Hello Friends!
Since the day of my inception, I have always felt a great kind of attraction towards the computers. Like the one we find between a proton n a neuteron, or between north n south poles of a magnet, or...hmm...well hold on! I'm falling short of metaphors...But, anyways I have always been kept wondering that computers, which are supposed to do a lot of calculations and processings of raw data, could they ever be linked with humour. You all know how boring those complicated computer codes and programs seem and how boring the programmers talk. Now, being a part of the programmers community,let me bust the myth and opensource the humour which was hidden for so lot many years uner the copyright laws. Here's a collection of a few good sayings(dipped in a lotta humour syrup), by some great men(including me ofcourse), compiled over the period of time. Hope this brings a smile on the faces of all you grave peoples!!!
"Any fool can use a computer. Many do."
(Ted Nelson)
"It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow."
(Craig Bruce)
"If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, 'We're sorry, here's a coupon for two more.' "
(Mark Minasi)
"Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?"
(Richard A. O'Keefe)
"Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is."
(Larry Wall)
"Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I think, proper consideration."
(Stan Kelly-Bootle)
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer programmer."
(Paul Ehrlich)
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
(Bumper sticker)
"The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards."
(Gene Spafford)
"Passwords are like underwear: you don't let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn't share it with strangers."
(Chris Pirillo)
"I'm not one of those who think Bill Gates is the devil. I simply suspect that if Microsoft ever met up with the devil, it wouldn't need an interpreter."
(Nicholas Petreley)
"Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning."
(Rich Cook)
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
(Pablo Picasso)
"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works."
(Alan J. Perlis)
"If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in."
(Edsger W. Dijkstra)
"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that–lacking zero; they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs."
(Robert Firth)
"It's ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute."
(Marvin Minsky)
"Every operating system out there is about equal… We all suck."
(Microsoft senior vice president Brian Valentine describing the state of the art in OS security, 2003)
"I am not out to destroy Microsoft, that would be a completely unintended side effect."
(Linus Torvalds)
"Software is like entropy: It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the Second Law of Thermodynamics; i.e., it always increases."
(Norman Augustine)
"Pessimists, we're told, look at a glass containing 50% air and 50% water and see it as half empty. Optimists, in contrast, see it as half full. Engineers, of course, understand the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
(Bob Lewis)
"UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity."
(Dennis Ritchie)
